Can't Hardly Move
by E.Mahiru
Summary: So close and yet so far. Ed regains his limbs but both are paralyzed. When Jean meets up with him again, will their common ground bring Ed to tell the story of how he managed the human transmutation that brought him to this? RatedT Spoilers for books 9,10
1. Chapter 1

**I know I should be updating my other stories instead of writing new ones, but I was inspired, so here's a story I hope you'll all like! **

**Warning: Contains spoilers for books 9/10**

**I do not own FullMetal ALchemist.**

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"So. Knox. How're you liking this new gig?"

"Mustang...Hey. As it turns out, doctors have to stand on their feet all day too, so old geezers like me have to take lots of breaks. But at least this job gets me away from all the dead bodies..." The grungy man sat down next to Roy chewing on a toothpick. "Wo what are you doing here? Last time I saw you was just a little while after the incident with that girl...Ross, right?"

"That's right, Doctor. Today I'm just here for some burns and some shots while I'm at it."

"Finally burned yourself, huh? ...Playing with fire..."

Roy snorted in humorous agreement. What'd he'd really done though was to stuff both his gloves in one pocket while he was dashing out the door to get home in time to get ready for a date. He'd been in such a hurry the friction was enough to cause the gloves to spark and set fire to his shirt. Now _both_ sides of him had burn marks.

"Hey...I've had one patient I think you might be interested in." Knox looked at Roy with a slightly bemused expression.

"Oh?"

"You remember that kid you were always looking out for? The FullMetal?"

Roy jerked forward in his seat, swiveling to stare at his old comrade in arms.

"Edward?"

"Yep. Elric kid. He came in about two weeks ago. Had two paralyzed limbs, strangest thing I've seen yet. One leg, one arm just totally paralyzed."

Roy licked his lips unconsciously, processing the information

"So you didn't know. He mentioned you the other day when I came in to confirm his release."

"He resigned. Just up and quit a month ago. Not a word to me. And he mentioned me? What did he say?"

"Said he just couldn't seem to escape the military. Maybe if you could get him into it, you could get him out too. He was kidding around." He added as Roy tensed beside him.

Roy laughed. "I'm not so sure he didn't. Do you know where he is now? When did he first come in?"

"Some of that's confidential, General." Knox smirked. "And it's not as if I'd even know that his brother checked him in exactly two weeks ago or that he's renting a little house on Fifth Ave by the lake...Or...That his veteran's insurance has been terminated for unknown reasons and he's struggling financially right now."

"I see. I guess I'll just have to talk to him myself." Roy stood, hearing his name called by a chubby pink-faced nurse named Merissa. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around. Knox offered a hand and after a moment, Roy shook it.

"See you around...comrade."

Roy nodded firmly.

* * *

Ed was swinging on his alchemically fashioned sling when the doorbell rang. His "hammock" hung from the ceiling it melted into and he had to be careful as he rolled to touch his right palm with his left so he could transmute, sending the swing gliding over to the door which he also transmuted. Roy was a little surprised to see Ed hovering a little above his own head in a sling made of a mysterious clothlike, plasticlike substance.

"Huh? What's the Colonel-bastard doing here?" Ed growled before beginning to roll off his back onto his side.

It was a kneejerk reaction that caused Roy to step suddenly forward and try to support Ed with both hands so Ed wouldn't roll off, which caused Ed to roll more to counterbalance the unexpected support. He crashed down Roy's front to the floor as Roy fell back on his behind. He heard Ed whimper softly and watched the boy wriggle on the ground before calling, "Al!" And turning his head to look at Roy. "Why did you have to do that, you moron?" He snapped.

"I thought you were going to fall." Roy stood and went over to Ed, very carefully putting his hands under the boy's stomach in order to lift him.

"Mustang-"

"BROTHER! What's wrong?" Al came screaming out of the bathroom, soap and water flying off him with a towel flying around his little waist.

"Colonel? Here-" Al bumped Roy out of the way and wrapped one arm under Ed's chest, keeping the other free to aid himself as he slowly rolled his brother onto his back. Clapping his hands, Al transmuted the sling down onto the floor. Ed sat up and let Al help him scoot onto his sling.

When Al let go, Ed rolled onto his side and touched him limp right palm before transmuting the sling up to Roy's chest level and giving Roy a very pointed look.

"So it's true..." Roy began before either Elric could begin questioning (and maybe insulting) him. "Your limbs are back to normal and paralyzed...And that's you, Alphonse." Roy stared. Al was shorter than Ed by an inch, making the pair a no longer intimidating presence although Roy was sure Ed could still scream a person out of a room with volume alone. Al had slightly lighter blond hair than Ed, short and in a tidy cut that didn't hang down in his face the way Ed's did. He was trim and in good shape but without the almost disturbing muscle mass Ed sported. He also had large, flat feet.

Al began to fidget under the scrutiny and excused himself.

"I'll be out in ten minutes, OK?" He said, slipping into the bathroom. A roll and a blue flash and Ed was exactly at Roy's eye level.

"You want something to drink while you explain to me how you found me?"

"Thank you." Roy said graciously. Ed seemed to be behaving in a very laid back manner.

He sat at a tiny plastic table with about a 12" radius, standing quickly when he saw how much trouble Ed was having pouring juice from a pitcher into a cup while keeping balanced on his sling.

"I can get it." He offered. Ed jerked in the sling and some juice sloshed over him and the low ceiling.

"NO! I can DO it!"

Roy jumped back. He hadn't been quite ready for the FullMetal's famous wall-shaking yell. But this was more of a screech, frustrated and angry. After a moment, Roy's heart slowed.

"Edward...? I used to know Dr. Knox...Very well. He's one of the new doctors in the military clinic. When we happened to meet by chance the other day he remembered that I knew you. He also said you told him that you thought maybe if I could get you into the military, I could get you out of it. I found you through the clinic."

"What do you want?" Ed snapped as he snatched a paper towel from its rack over the sink and began wiping off the ceiling after a quick transmutation.

"Quite honestly, although it's a stupid question, why you quit the way you did. I guess I thought I would know if you had found the Stone...I at least expected you to come say goodbye. Everyone in my office was a little disappointed."

"Colonel-"

"It's General now." Roy corrected him gently. Ed rolled over so he could look down at Roy.

"Really?" He was silent for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. "...Mustang?"

"Yes?"

"Mmph. Help me down?" Ed's sling now hovered next to the other chair. The flexibility of the sling made it almost impossible for Ed to sit up, but that's what he was trying to do anyway.

"Um-...I won't hurt you, will I?"

"Just help me!" Ed yelled, struggling to make his body right itself against two dead weights that were his limbs. Roy put both hands under Ed's shoulders and pulled him to a sitting position. Ed grabbed Roy's shoulder to pull himself up further.

Al came into the room wearing black jeans and a white Tshirt, immediately coming over to put one hand under Ed's knees and the other behind his back after carefully folding Ed's right arm over his lap. Roy let go and stepped back as Al easily transferred his older, bigger brother into the other chair at the table.

To avoid staring at his brightly blushing brother, Al went to the sink to get a rag to wipe up the stickiness of the spilled cranberry juice while Roy sat down awkwardly across from Ed, who was leaning on one elbow and panting slightly. Ed swallowed and looked up at Roy.

"So the doctor told you." He said. "I-I would have said goodbye but...After I sent in my resignation, the Fuhrer himself came and found me. He said I could never come back if I left now and that, considering I'd had no formal schooling, I didn't really have any prospects, I should stay. When I told him he couldn't change my mind, he kind of snapped and me and yelled that if he ever saw me near a military building again, he'd make sure I regretted it. Then later when I got to the clinic, I found out he'd terminated the insurance program I'd been counting on using...It was the whole reason I took the chance and came to the military clinic in the first place. But now they kind of won't let me go." Ed looked at Roy's perturbed face. "Out-patient."

"Oh." Roy was still sorting all of that when Al set down glasses of red cranberry juice in front of both of them, taking his own cup over to an overturned milk crate in the corner.

"So...You found us, Colonel."

"It's General now, Alphonse."

"That's great! Wow...We've been out of touch for a while now, huh?" Al looked down at his finger circling the rim of his cup.

"Do you mind answering questions?" Roy asked. Both Elrics gave perfectly synchronized headshakes.

"How did you get your bodies back?"

Ed and Al exchanged a look.

"General Mustang..." Al began. They shared another look and Ed took over.

"We followed a Xinganese Prince back to Xing. And-and while we were there we found-" Ed bit his lip and Roy braced himself for something truly horrible. Whatever it was, it was making Ed choke.

"We met Lieutenant Colonel Hughes." Ed choked out. Roy stared. His stomach started to tighten and his heart began to pound.

Hughes was dead. He knew that. He'd almost been on the phone with him when he died. ...His best friend in the whole world. But he was dead.

Ed opened his mouth and Roy stood abruptly.

"That's enough."

"Wait!" Ed struggled to sit up straighter. "Don't you understand, he's not-"

Roy held up one hand to stop Ed.

"See you later, FullMetal." He was already at the door.

"NO! MUSTANG!" Ed's voice sounded raw and choked.

"General! Please let us explain!" Al was following him out the door. Roy brushed him off, not letting him say what he wanted to say and Al finally threw up his hands.

"Fine! I guess you really don't care!"

Roy smacked the single tear off his cheek. He'd never known how to grieve except to get drunk, but when Maes had died it hadn't seemed right at all. So he'd pushed it out of his mind.

He was still grieving.

Hard.

* * *

Al stomped into the house, cutting short his tirade against stubborn people who wouldn't listen when he recognized the tiny choking noises coming from the kitchen. Ed was crying, pressing his face against his arm on the table and trying to hold it all in. Al was at his side in a moment, knowing if Ed got embarrassed he would hide his feelings, which Al had learned was not a good thing. It made his brother irritable and irrational. It was Al's explanation for a _lot_ of the things they'd done when Ed was still a State Alchemist.

He rubbed Ed's back and picked him up, straining to carry him all the way to the couch before lying down against him, feeling the limp, hard left leg against his own.

"Al-...I didn't want him to find out that way. I wanted to bring him back."

"I know." Al was fighting tears himself now. "But we both know what the cost would have been, Ed. It was too much." Al was trying not to remember the look Maes Hughes had given them. That one particular look...

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**As I said before, readers of my other stories may be wishing I would update those instead of starting new stories, but I just couldn't help it! Insipiration struck and I had to go with the flow. All the same, I'm really sort of exploring with this story, and I would love to hear suggestions, any information on paralyzation or other kinds of things like that, any tips, whatever. Constructive critcism welcomed, flames laughed at! And please feel free to request anything you would like to see in this story as it's still very new and open. It's (dun da dun) an open book!!! (I started a new notebook for it --; )**

**Thank you for reading! R&R Please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning! Spoilers for book 10 in this chapter.**

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"Boss? You need a smoke?" Havoc offered his own and Roy glared at him.

"What I need, First Lieutenant Havoc, is to take all of those retarded officers who decide to vacation out East out and SHOOT them. Perhaps Major Hawkeye would be up to the job?"

"Not now, Sir." Riza snapped. Despite uncountable past failures to reach the group of Lieutenants that had gone hiking in the East mountain range by radio, she and Fuery were still working on it. The eight officers had no been gone three weeks, two past their original vacation time. Roy had been assigned the task of locating them because of his supposed knowledge of the geography of the East. Roy actually knew next to nothing a bout the single mountain range and had refused to go in and search until he had backup. Which was taking a long time to get its poop in a group. In the meantime, Roy was working the phone, trying to get in touch with the restaurants and hotels the officers might have stayed at, Riza and Kain were trying radio signals, Falman was researching the area and Jean and Heymans were trying to convince someone to convince someone to find out who had been assigned to put together the backup troops so they could find that person and see if the troops would be ready before or after they all grew old and died. Havoc was on his lunch break right now though.

"I know you're angry, Boss, but are you sure nothing else is bothering you? I mean, you're a lot more on edge than you were yesterday."

Falman nodded silently in agreement from where he was sitting, taking notes. Roy sat down with a thump.

"You all deserve to know...I know I'm not the only one who wondered where FullMetal had gone."

A deadly silence fell over the room, the suspense thick in the air.

"He's living in a rental on 5th Avenue in sector 17 by the lake...Havoc, you especially might want to drop by." Roy ignored Jean's confused look and picked up the phone.

"Hello?...Yes this is General Mustang speaking-..."

* * *

Ed frowned at his hand. Not a single match and Al had already put down all four of the 8's, 3's, 5's, 6's and 10's.

"Do you have a 2?" He asked.

"Go fish!" Al loved this stupid game. Ed wasn't so sure. He drew a 7. Well he needed that but he was still missing one. They both looked up when someone started knocking on the door and Al rose to open it. He jumped backward onto his butt in alarm.

"SURPRISE!!!" Jean and Breda were the loudest with Kain, Riza and Falman joining in behind them. Al blinked and stood up. Ed blinked.

"Hey, Chief. Boss said we'd find you here." Jean rolled his wheelchair in through the door, Breda giving him a little extra push. Ed stared. He couldn't help it.

"Second Lieutenant Havoc...What happened?" Al whispered.

"It's First Lieutenant now. All that 'push me to the top' crap the General spouts really doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot. When he gets promoted, he generally drags the rest of us with him." Havoc grinned. "As for what happened...Let's just say I think I'm going to give up dating women."

Ed and Al shared confused frowns.

"So, what happened to you?" Kain asked. "And who's your friend?"

"Al."

"...Huh?"

"Alphonse. He decided to quit his armor-wearing hobby." Ed referred to an old joke that earned a few appreciative chuckles before Breda offered his hand to Al who shook it politely.

"Welcome back, Kid."

Al smiled and Ed smiled seeing Al so happy at having his hands shaken and being whacked on the shoulder and fussed over by everyone.

"Really though, how did you two pull it off?" Falman sat down on the couch at Ed's feet. Ed struggled and sat up, Al quickly putting a pillow behind him.

"Let's just say I think I'm going to stop trying to transmute human beings now. And hanging out with military dogs." He put on an obnoxious tone and turned his nose up at the people crowding the dingy living room. Riza started laughing with Jean and Falman, while Breda pretended to be offended. Then Riza stopped laughing abruptly. Jean looked up at her slightly shocked face.

"Major?"

"That's why. General Mustang...You're both paralyzed."

Jean stared at Ed who met his gaze, everyone else looking on to see how Jean would react. Not only to finding someone else in the same situation, but to Mustang's assumption that it would be important somehow to the First Lieutenant.

"You're...right." He told Riza in slight amazement. "So...You transmuted your limbs and now they're paralyzed."

Ed nodded, his expression guarded and unreadable.

Al tried to break the tension by asking if anyone wanted any cranberry juice. Kain and Jean accepted, Riza requesting some water. Ed and Jean broke their stare, avoiding each other's eyes until Riza announced they should all go home and get a good night's sleep so they would all be awake and ready for paperwork the next morning. With many groans and moans and whines, they all began to head for the door, each saying goodbye and congratulations to Al and Ed.

Jean was last and just before he headed out, he caught Ed's gaze once more.

"Um...Who's your physical therapist?"

Ed blushed and looked down in an irritated, fidgety manner.

"I think his name is...Dahn Yao. Xinganese guy."

"I have him too. ...See you later." Jean nodded and smiled and wheeled his way through the door Riza was holding for him.

* * *

Ed was quiet for the rest of the evening, thinking deeply on the events since he and Al had traveled to Sing until the past few days when he'd suddenly gotten in touch with...With who? Roy's subordinates? Acquaintances? Friends?

Jean on the other hand was restless, unable to sleep. Roy had known. Had seen how alone and cut off Jean had been feeling lately. That's why he'd said that... Or maybe he just thought someone in the office would finally have something truly in common with the boy.

Jean rolled onto his side with some difficulty and shook his head. Roy wasn't that cruel. Or maybe he didn't think he was being cruel and only Jean thought it was being cruel to tell an invalid officer to go visit another because then someone might finally have something in common with the latter-But no, Roy had probably noticed how Jean no longer interacted with people the way he used to...Right?

And what did Edward think of all of this? Jean hoped he didn't think Roy had sent him over to Ed's house simply because they were both paralyzed. But then again, who knew what Ed was ever thinking? It was true Mustang's subordinates, between the five of them, had some things in common with the tiny alchemist, but somehow those things were always a little tweaked with Ed so that it didn't really seem like a thing you had in common. Take being in the military, for example. It was usually the first thing that came to mind on the list of what one had in common with Edward.

But Ed was in it for himself, practically outright refused to follow orders or go on assignments and had always planned on getting out as soon as he possibly could. Whereas Roy's subordinates had all sacrificed so much for, always followed order (or at least promised to) and planned to stay not only until Roy was Fuhrer but until they were all ready to retire.

"Retire..." Jean suddenly sighed and smiled, contented by the thought of the lucky hand he'd been dealt. If it weren't for Roy and Dr. Knox, he'd be picking up phones for his family's General Goods Shop right now.

He rolled over again and closed his eyes, letting his mind finally settle.

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**Typed to: Chumbawamba 's I Get Knocked Down**


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

"OK, today I thought we might try artificially stimulating your arm, alright?"

Ed shuffled on the table silently. He was never rude or too distant from Dr. Yao, but he wasn't exactly talkative either. He hated feeling impaired and helpless even without adding his conditioned reaction to strangers being to brace himself for anything including alchemic attacks, fist fights or attempts on his life.

"We're just going to attach these little electric pads to you and see if we can wake up those nerves."

Al was watching from the other room anxiously but politely staying out of the way instead of hovering like a worried mother.

"Worried mother..ha," Al sighed to himself. He watched Dr. Yao attach some little square things with cords coming off them to Ed's arm. He didn't spend very long wondering what exactly they were. Ed would tell him everything on the way home. Al smiled a little as he began to imagine Ed's cranky, fed-up tone of voice as he explained everything to Al as if it were all extremely annoying. The only way Ed had learned to talk to Al about everyday matters was to act as if he were complaining. That was an unfortunate side effect of Ed's bull-headed acceptance of their... "former state". Al swallowed hard at the thought of how well they'd gotten to know Mustang during that time. Ed may have hated Mustang's manipulative know-it-all manner and attitude, but that didn't mean Edward totally denied Roy's being a human being and entitled to emotions. Not that Ed usually cared much about those emotions but drastic times had called for some seriously out-of-character pardons to certain people from Ed. Certain Colonels coming to the forefront of Al's mind because that's who he was thinking about anyway.

Squeaking interrupted that thought, as well as a familiar voice.

"I hate puddles now, you know that? I _hate_ puddles."

"Sure, Hav." Breda sounded tired and for a moment Al wondered if Breda felt as tired of taking care of Jean as he felt of caring for Ed. Not a 'sick-of' tired, but he had to admit it wasn't easy. Especially because Ed absolutely refused to be limited by his condition, which meant he was constantly on the move and constantly needing Al to pick him up after he'd fallen on his face. Al wondered if Jean was more laid back or not. He watched Breda crouching down to inspect Havoc's squeaky wheels while the blond sat there looking irritated.

"We'll oil them when we get back, OK?" Breda offered.

"We'll have to pick up more oil on the way. I've almost emptied the can Roy gave me."

"_General_, Havoc. We're in a military clinic."

Al decided Havoc wasn't all that laid back. Jean had always seemed to be the most relaxed of the East HQ crew, but Al now recalled that the former second lieutenant had never stayed still for long. Maybe he was going stir-crazy. That was probably it.

Al couldn't even count the times now that Ed had woken him in the middle of the night or right as he was falling asleep, insisting they explore the city or go to a park or a library. Ed seemed to forget that most libraries were not open at eleven and two and four at night or that he had always hated Central City and got bored exploring it.

_"But,"_ Al thought, "_At least the First Lieutenant doesn't refuse to use a wheelchair."_

That fact made Ed an especially irritating victim of midnight wanderlust.

"Hey Alphonse!" Jean rolled over. "So... Is Ed here?"

Al smiled and nodded, opening his mouth but eing cut off by an enourmously loud yelp. Al rushed to the door, shoving through to see why Ed had yelled.

"I'm so sorry, Dr. I really am, Oh God. I'm so sorry Mr. Elric."

Ed was giving the nurse a very bitter look right now and Al's cry of "BROTHER!" didn't even make him flinch.

"It's OK, Al. She dropped one of the electric pads on me."

"Um...oh," Al said faintly. Right behind him, Jean started laughing. Loudly.

"That's what happens when you glare at people all the time, Ed. It comes back and bites you in the ass."

"Shut the hell up! What are you even doing here?"

"I'm here to ask the doctor a question."

"Hmp." Ed pulled his shirt on with the doctor's help before leaning on Al's offered shoulder and hobbling out the door, glaring at Jean on the way.

"Jeez, Ed. What's the matter, couldn't afford a wheelchair so you're making your brother carry you?"

"What! I'm not gonna sit on my ass all day and make people push me around!"

"Hey! I do not make people push me! I can do it myself! At least get a crutch so you don't kill poor Alphonse."

"I-... forgot it at home." Ed blushed, looking away. Al sighed.

"Brother. You got bored and transmuted it. Several times. I thought it ended up as a color-coded spice rack but I haven't seen it for a few days so I thought you'd used it to fix that leak."

"No... I used your other pair of shoes for that."

"Edward Elric! How many times have I told you not to use my stuff without asking! I liked those shoes!"

"They were ugly and it was leaking really badly. And don't use that stupid Mother-Hen tone with me! you're younger than I am!"

"But more considerate."

"What?" Ed continued to berate Alphonse as the two shuffled out the door.

Jean looked after them for a bit after the door shut before Dr. Yao beckoned him in. "You had a question for me?"

"Um, yeah... I-uh, wanted to know if it's OK for me to live alone yet. My dorm's all wheelchair modified, so can Breda here go back to his?"

"As long as you have someone very close by who you can call in case of emergency."

"Yeah. I know lots of people in the dorms, plus Roy lives... Well actually he's a bit far. Ed's closer." Jean looked thoughtful.

"Ed? I've never heard you mention him before. Did you make a new friend?" The Dr. smiled. Occasionally he seemed to go into a talking-to-a-four-year-old mode and Jean had not appreciated it at all when they had first met.

"Met up with an old one. The kid who just left here. Edward."

"Oh! You know, he's about in the same state as you are right now. Since you keep refusing to come to group therapy-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Breda interrupted. "Ed is not someone you want to look to for emotional support."

"Often it's the most stubborn patients that find comfort in others like them," The doctor replied as if he'd forgotten Havoc was still right there and probably didn't want to hear how stubborn he was.

"Yeah, well," was Jean's only reply.

"Well anyway, thanks Doc. Sleeping on his couch and waking up with my face mashed into the armrest is not as enjoyable as he seems to think it should be." Breda waved goodbye as Jean grinned widely.

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**Short chappie, but at least I'm updating!! I'm sorry I abandoned this story for so long, the next chapter should be up very soon. R&R please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter, ASAP as promised! Thank you for reading!**

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Al was rushing around the kitchen half asleep, sorely regretting having woken his sleeping brother who had gone straight from being asleep to being ravenously hungry and had demanded bacon, hard boiled eggs and waffles ASAP.

Al threw open the cupboard, studying its contents for waffle ingredients and wincing when the phone's shrill ring pierced the air. He hurried over to pick it up.

"Yeah? Al here."

"It's Breda."

"Oh... Hi Lieutenant." Al wasn't sure what to say.

"Hi. I was just wondering if, um, if Dr. Yao has tried to talk Edward into taking group therapy." Breda felt awkward.

"Oh yeah. The first time he did Ed told him he could take his stupid therapy and shove it. Which of course made Dr. Yao think he needed it even more, so he came o me and I told him it was pretty much hopeless."

"Yeah... Havoc didn't want to go either. The General was thinking about ordering him to go, so that's kind of why I'm calling. Dr. Yao seemed to think Havoc and your brother would be good for each other to talk to since they won't go to therapy." Breda paused, waiting for a reaction.

"Really? Huh. I guess they might. They might at least get along. Almost no one can put up with Brother these days," Al lamented.

"Well, shall we set up a playdate for them?" Breda obviously thought the whole idea was very amusing.

"Does Lieutenant Havoc like the park by the penitentiary?"

--

"Where are we going again? I want to go to that museum again... LOOK! They're painting the grocery store!"

Al's hands tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles becoming even whiter than they had been before Ed had s tarted yelling about paint and grocery stores. He was still just learning how to drive and oftentimes, having his excitable and spontaneous brother in the car was dangerous.

"We're going to the park. We're going to hang out with Breda and Havoc," Al said firmly. Ed sighed loudly and made no further comment, which Al thought was odd. The younger Elric looked inquisitively at his older brother who was leaning his head on his hand until loud honking reminded Al to pay attention to the road. He parallel parked extremely carefully, then parked the enormous car and went around to the passenger side to help Ed out. He continued to hold Ed up from under his arms while Ed half-walked in the direction Al was steering him. Until they got near the bench and Al tried to sit Ed on it.

"Hey! I don't want to sit on the dumb bench, Al! "

"Fine! Get grass stains on everything!" Al yelled, laying Ed on his back next to Jean's wheelchair."Hey look. Not it's a _flat_ bean sprout," Jean said to Breda who was sitting on the bench. Ed half-rolled over, clapped his hands and the next thing Havoc knew he was on his butt in the grass, his wheelchair in pieces around him.

"Brother!"

"You little ass-"

"Havoc!"

"You asked for it!"

"Time someone taught you a lesson!" Jean pulled his gun and fired four rounds into the grass around Ed who panicked, but couldn't go anywhere which actually saved him from infury

"HAVOC! Settle down, Buddy!" Breda grabbed Jean's forearm and Jean let him have the semi-auto.

Ed sat up, Al checking him over for obviously nonexistant bullet holes. Ed opened his mouth and quick as lightning Alphonse and Heymans exchanged a look and Al clapped a hand over his brother's mouth.

"OK, both of you need to calm down, you hear me?"

Breda looked back and forth from Ed to Jean. Jean was breathing slightly harder than usual as he glared reproachfully at Ed, then dropped his eyes to his feet. Breda could feel the man's muscles relax under his hands, but Ed was still fighting his younger brother for release.

"Edward Elric! Stop that right now, get a hold of yourself," Al yelled, holding Ed's arm and keeping one hand over Ed's mouth. Breda kept near Jean, fairly sure he couldn't do any better than Al when it came to calming Ed down. As Ed continued to kick and struggle, Jean suddenly raised his arm again. Leaning forward, he gave Ed a gentle, firm shove against the chest and told him, "Hey. Just chill, OK?"

Ed froze, trying to decipher the gesture. Dominant push? Gesture of peace?

Al let go and Ed scooted away with a snort of contempt. Breda and Alphonse cautiously backed off, hovering for a moment in case Ed tried to attack Jean. Ed flopped back on the grass to demonstrate his disinterest and his brother and Breda exchanged glances. This playdate was going badly.

The two of them exchanged smalltalk for another twenty minutes while Ed and Havoc remained silent, ignoring each other. Finally, Al decided to try leaving them alone. There was a definite possibility of someone getting hurt, but that was being around Ed for you.

"The Lieutenant and I are going to take a walk around. Don't kill each other."

Breda and Alphonse began to walk around the perimeter of the little park while keeping an eye on Ed and Jean, who didn't notice.

"...Those things are even louder than I remembered."

Jean was surpsied, glancing at Ed who was still on his back with his eyes closed. Jean didn't really know what to say to that and thought for another minute before saying anything.

"Did anyone ever teach you how to use one of these?"

Ed opened his eyes, caught just a bit off his guard, like he'd been holding his shield somewhere else.

"No," he shook his head.

"C'mere," Jean said, turning his wheelchair toward Ed. At first the young blond seemed grateful and willing, but as he sat up and tried to move toward Jean without actually crawling, he blushed and looked down, halting his efforts.

Jean wheeled toward him, which on grass took a lot more energy than on concrete.

"See, a wheelchair isn't so bad. It's like it automatically explains what's wrong with you so that people never ask and you never have to answer."

Ed wouldn't look at him but Jean recognized the all too familiar frustration boiling up behind Ed's face. It made him realize just how well he knew it, that he could see it so well in someone else. And yet he didn't know anything to say to Ed. Nothing anyone said made it any better for him.

He maneuvered his way next to Ed and pulled the cock back, locking open the chamber with a loud snap. Ed jumped a bit and looked up at Jean's hands.

"So, to open it, you pull this back," he explained. "And after you load it, you push this button down to close it." Jean slid a round button vertically south and the chamber snapped shut, making Ed flinch again.

"You're going to have to get used to the noise. If you jump at the sounds, you might do something stupid," Jean told him. Ed just twitched his nose.

"So to load it, you put bullets in this magazine, or cartridge, and then you put it in the gun through the grip, see?" Jean pulled a magazine full of bullets from his back pocket, then pushed it up into the bottom of the gun until it clicked into place.

"So then when you're ready to fire," Jean told Ed, "You wrap your hands around the stock and close your eye and you put the little front sight level with and between the back sights. Then you put your target, like that squirrel over there, right on top of your front sight and you squeeze the trigger as slowly as you can. You sholdn't even know when it goes off. It should come as a surprise..."

BANG!!!!

Ed's jaw dropped when a squirrel in a nearby tree squeaked and fell to the ground.

"Uh," Ed looked shocked, sitting bolt upright and the blond lieutenant felt bad for him. He reached down to give Ed a very awkward hug with one arm as Al and Breda came tearing toward them through the park.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you'd be upset."

"Ehe... well, I mean, no it's OK I was just surprised because I never knew you liked squirrel."

Jean looked at Ed closely. "What?"

Ed grinned. "Don't kill what you're not going to eat," he said. Jean's mouth opened and closed and yet he'd been taught basically the same thing when he was younger. Lately his pent up frustration had caused him to be quiet a bit meaner and he'd forgotten about that. And other things like it. He knew it, he just didn't really care. He snapped at waiters and store clerks when he was angry with himself or his coworkers and no longer held his opinions about certain highranking officers who Roy thought it best to suck up to.

"Hunh," Jean looked at the squirrel.

"ED! What happened!" Al bowled his brother over in concern.

"Nothing, Al."

Breda looked pointedly at the blond lielutenant putting his gun bvack into hits holster. Jean just shrugged noncomitally.

"How about we go home, now?" Al requested shakily.

"Fine. Whatever," Ed told him.

-----

Breda put a hand on Jean's wheelchair to steady it for him after parking the car in front of the dorms. As he wheeled Jean down the hall, he took a minute to get up the nerve to ask how it had gone with Ed once he and Al left. Havoc's answer surprised him.

"He almost settled down. He's just so embarrassed about his arm and leg that he doesn't know how to defend himself."

"Can I ask what happened with the gun?"

"Oh. I was showing him how to use it. I shot a squirrel."

"Ohh, you _weren't_ trying to kill him," Breda said. Jean snorted and pulled his dormkey from a pocket on the arm of his chair. After wheeling through the doorway and waving goodbye to Heymans, Jean let the door fall shut on its own. As it creaked shut, Breda could just barely hear his friend say again, "I didn't try to kill him," murmuring the words as thought they had some other meaning.

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**R&R and please, any suggestions or requests for this story will be welcomed and considered! Flames for this story, as history has shown, will be thoroughly laughed at and then ignored.**


	5. Chapter 5

**For the purpose of this story, I'm just going to say that traffic lights did exist back then. Whether it's true or not is questionable but there's one in this chapter.**

-----------

"It's kind of hot today. What if we took them for ice cream?" Al suggested.

"I don't even know if Havoc _likes_ ice cream..." Breda said, sounding slightly incredulous.

"Slushies then?"

"Oh, yeah he brings those into the office and gets everything sticky."

"OK. There's a slushy stand on Bridgewood near the Farmer's Market."

"Great."

* * *

"You do recall that last time you took me out to see Breda and Havoc, Havoc tried to shoot me, don't you?"

"Brother- SHIT!" Al slammed on the breaks and Ed's chest hit the dash with a bang.

"Ed! Are you OK? Oh my God," Al reached for his brother who was clutching at his chest, throwing up his hands in annoyance when several people began honking at him. He stomped on the gas and sped toward Bridgewood.

"Al, we need to hire a chauffeur," Ed groaned.

"Hey! You didn't see that light turn red either!"

"Yes I did! I didn't say anything because I assumed you'd seen it too!"

"Whatever. We haven't even payed for this car, Ed."

Both brothers were silent. The subject was a sore spot. They were hurting for money, but since Ed refused to find someone who could stay with him, Al couldn't get a job because he wouldn't leave Ed alone. No matter how hard he tried to get Ed to see the logic of finding some kind of caretaker though, Al couldn't convince Ed because the elder Elric thought he should be the one working and supporting his younger sibling.

"There he is, trigger happy bastard!" Ed exclaimed, pointing rudely at Jean sitting near the slushy cart.

"Yeah, I know. Now be quiet while I try to parallel park."

* * *

"No wheelchair, huh?" Jean eyed Ed and his living human crutch. Ed shook his head.

"No wheelchair."

"My treat," Heymans interrupted, "What flavor does everyone want?"

"Cherry, thank you," Al said politely.

"Lime."

"Lime."

Ed and Jean stared at each other.

"Peach."

"Raspberry."

Breda rolled his eyes. "You can both have lime. Nothing bad will come of it."

Jean nodded firmly as if he'd thought that all along and Ed rolled his eyes. Breda ordered a cherry, a pina colada and two limes.

"Hey, Lieutenant, look at those pocketknives. Let's go look," Al said once Ed was settled with his slushy on the bench, Jean sitting next to it.

"Sure," Breda quickly caught on and headed across the street with the younger Elric to look at a booth selling decorated pocketknives. As soon as they were gone, Ed rolled his eyes at Jean.

"They're leaving us alone again. So we can do 'impaired male bonding', " Ed snorted. Jean laughed, rather more loudly than Ed had been expecting.

"That's exactly what they're doing," he agreed with a smile, revealing a greenish tongue.

"What are they setting us up for anyway?"

"Oh. I thought you would have caught on," Jean said.

"What?" Ed looked at him pointedly.

"Oh, nothing," Jean said slyly.

"Oh come on you trigger happy nutcase!" Ed snapped

"Trigger happy nutcase? _What?"_

"Hey, I tell it like it is," Ed declared.

"Like hell," Jean retorted

"So are you going to tell me?"

"You're a blockhead, you know that? They're setting us playdates because we won't go to group therapy."

"... They're. Doing. What?" Ed looked furious. Jean snorted and Ed started to mutter under his breath.

"I'm going to kill you, oh dear brother of mine."

"Aw, come on. You need therapy of _some_ kind, you little phsycho."

Ed's jaw dropped and he sputtered. Then a gleam came into his mischievous ochre eyes.

"Hey," he hissed," Let's ditch them!"

Jean blinked and then grinned. "Here, get on," he said..

"Whoa! I'm not riding in your lap," Ed told him.

"Well think of something else. And fast!"

"Hang on, let me put a thing on the back..." Ed put his hands together and after a moment of the bench, the sidewalk and Jean's wheelchair all buzzing with alchemical energy, a little place for Ed to sit appeared on the back of Jean's wheelchair.

"It'll be too heavy," Jean protested.

"Too bad, I can't put it any lower." Ed climbed from the bench onto the back of Jean's wheelchair.

"OK, now go!"

"Where to?" Jean started to turn the wheels, leaning forward to counter balance Ed's weight.

"I have no idea!"

"Well in that case, why don't we grab some beer?" Jean turned the corner and began to pick up speed.

"Wait, you're going too fast!" Ed started sliding off and he grabbed Jean's shoulder trying to stay on. Jean hit the brakes and the two blonds knocked heads.

"Oww," Jean turned to glare at Ed.

"Sorry," Ed blushed and bit the inside of his lip.

"Just don't do it again." Jean ruffled Ed's hair. Ed raised an eyebrow but Jean was already looking the other way as he wheeled into the liquor store he'd been looking for. He'd almost passed it, too. Ed scooted back onto his platform while they were going slowly.

"Hey, man," the hairy clerk in a gray T-shirt greeted Jean.

"Hey, what's up?" Jean responded, "Could you grab me a six-pack of Asahi?"

"Sure, sure. Who's your friend?" the man asked without looking particularly interested as he legged it over to the cooler.

"Old friend. Name's Ed."

"Nice to meet you," the man said to Ed, who just nodded in return. Jean payed for the beer, then wheeled out of the store.

"Now we just gotta find somewhere to relax," Jean thought aloud.

"I've never been to this part of town," Ed admitted. Or maybe he had, he thought privately, but he hadn't been paying attention. Al must have been here before and when did his darling brother go anywhere without taking him along?

"Then just hang on!" Jean put his arms into speeding down the street, taking a right turn without stopping from the left side of the street and continuing until he and Ed found themselves in a square with some trees growing in between the concrete slabs. Under two of the trees, people with instruments were singing and laughing.

Jean parked under the biggest tree so he and Ed could get in the shade of the tree without disturbing the musicians. He lit a cigarette, opened two of the beers and handed one to Ed, who accepted it with a mixture of indifference and mild apprehension. A strange mix, but Ed was unique.

"Never had one before?" Jean smirked as the jammers took up, "_Ophelia_."

"Nope." Ed smirked wryly and tasted it.

He was just getting to like it when Al and Breda charged onto the square. Even from a distance, they looked sweaty and out of breath. Ed and Jean smiled at each other, but as their pursuers drew closer and the livid expressions on their faces became clearer, the blonds glanced at each other again, this time with slight worry.

Even though the eye contact had served as a form of communication, Ed still wasn't at all prepared when Jean dashed his cigarette on the concrete, set his opened beer down-

and bolted.

Ed dropped his bottle and it splashed all over the front of him before smashing on the sidewalk as Ed grabbed the back of the wheelchair. He was sliding off and hanging on for dear life with his one good hand as Jean pushed on. Ed was amazed the man didn't burn his hands on the tires as he pushed them.

Al and Breda yelled at them, but Jean had decided on his course of action and wasn't about to change it. He and Ed flew down the street and were out of sight in a minute.

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**Special thanks to havocmangawip for critiquing and just being helpful in general, hope you like this chapter!**

**R&R everyone!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi there! 'Nother chappie, please review!**

--------

"Whew..." Jean said appreciatively. "Now we're really in trouble." He looked back at Ed and Ed grinned at him.

"Definitely."

"Well..." Jean was at a loss. Where should they go now?

"Hey, let's visit the colonel," he suggested mischievously.

"Uh, I don't think so..." Ed said. Jean looked at him. "I don't think he'll be very happy to see me."

"Ed! Mustang was just as, if not more, worried about you than any of the rest of us," Jean was getting close to a scolding tone.

"Yeah, well when he found us, we kinda...had a disagreement," Ed told him diplomatically.

"Like what? You guys used to fight every time you saw each other but it didn't really stop you from meeting with him."

"Yeah but... Well first of all it's none of your business," he said indignantly, thinking the man was trying to get him to spill his secrets, "And second, it wasn't a fight. He's in denial and won't let us tell him what he deserves to know and before you ask, no I'm not telling you so you can tell him."

"You're a damn stubborn brat," Jean said irritably, having just had his hopes of discovering Ed's secret dashed to pieces.

"Well," he said, "Just don't mention _whatever it is_ and I'm sure he'll love an excuse to take a little break from work."

It soothed Ed's nerves to glide through the city, seeing it as he once had on foot. He marked changes and familiarities about the streets, parks, shops and so forth and enjoyed the warm, breezy day.

In some part of his mind, he knew this was what he wanted when he woke Al up in the middle of the night. He wanted this peaceful opportunity for observation, not to be pulled and carried to a bench where he and Al could sit and watch the people go by. He wasn't interested in the people. He wanted to see something familiar, even if it wasn't the way he remembered it.

"Check this out," Jean said as he went past the front of the white military building and around the side. "The colonel put in a ramp to his office."

Ed gaped slightly. It looked like some kind of structural support for the building, not a walkway. It was barely wide enough for both wheels on the chair to fit and was extremely steep as it went to the second floor. At the top was a wooden door that looked like it didn't fit in its frame correctly and Ed wondered who had put it in.

Ed clutched the back of the chair as hard as he could with his one good arm and tucked his good leg under the platform to try and stay on. However, as Havoc began to wheel up, leaning forward as much as humanly possible, Ed found his foot pushed straight out as the angle of the ramp almost didn't accommodate his platform.

"You make things a lot harder," Jean grunted as they neared the door. Ed didn't reply. Jean stopped the chair to dig around in his pocket for the key, keeping on hand firmly depressing the brake. He found the key and leaned forward to unlock the door. Ed twisted around to see what had caused the subtle weight shift-

And the left front wheel scooted off the edge. After that, the whole chair followed with very little hesitation.

Luck was on the blonds' sides though, because at just the moment before the wheel had scooted off, Al had turned the doorknob from the inside and started to open the door so that he clapped his hands and was able to transmute some spongy dirt things to catch the two runaways. After a moment, he lowered both boys back onto the grass as Breda and Roy followed him out the door.

Jean and Ed were both breathing hard and shaking, Ed whimpering ever-so-softly. Neither tried to sit up when Al and Breda came to stand over them angrily, hands on hips.

Jean couldn't help but grin at Breda, while Ed looked helplessly up at Alphonse.

Roy was frowning, picking up Jean's wheelchair and attempting to set it to rights.

Jean cracked up and after staring at him for a moment, Ed did too. The both of them were soon rolling around on the ground holding their stomachs they were laughing so hard.

"Brother!" Al reprimanded Ed sharply. The blond took about as much notice of that as Jean took of Roy's and Heyman's disapproving glares.

"If I were any less patient with you, I'd leave you lying there," Al growled. "You deserve it."

That only made Ed laugh harder and he rolled around until he and Jean almost had their foreheads together. Breda rolled his eyes at their giggling (as it was becoming) and motioned to Al, saying, "Let's get a donut and come back later." Donuts were Heyman's coffee.

At first, even though a minute ago he'd been threatening to leave him, Al was startled and slightly repulsed at the idea. You couldn't just leave two giddy idiots lying on the grass next to a military building in broad daylight.

And yet, the more he thought about it, he realized Ed could do alchemy and therefore was not completely helpless and Jean probably had a gun and Ed was having fun and he really wanted a jelly donut right now...

"OK."

----

"Well at least they're getting along," Breda was the first to break the blissful silence. Al almost snorted jelly out his nose.

"_Getting along?_" he choked, then started laughing. "They're partners in crime!"

"Do you think it's actually doing them any good? I mean, getting shot at and falling off ledges and ditching their chauffeurs doesn't exactly seem like a gentle alternative to group therapy."

"As far as my brother is concerned, anything that tires him out is a good thing. And I have to say, once he thinks he's got an accomplice, he's pretty quick to attach himself. I mean," Al blushed, "I mean he doesn't cling or anything, but that's who he goes to. It's kind of sad..." he said quietly, "I used to be his accomplice. I'm not even completely sure when that changed."

Breda reached out and gave Al and awkward, hesitant pat on the upper arm. He was, in fact, a fairly sensitive person to the feelings of others, he just wasn't good at showing it.

---

"Why is that ramp so narrow? That's a terrible way to get up."

"Well, the colonel didn't want enemies to be able to use it to infiltrate headquarters, so he made it narrow and he keeps the door locked. There are only two keys."

"Haven't you ever fallen off before?"

"No! I only had trouble because of all the extra _weight_," he said, sounding slightly indignant.

"Sure." Ed gave Jean a total I-don't-believe-it smirk. Jean raised his eyebrows almost as if saying, 'You want to bet?'

"Hmph, kid, you don't know who you're dealing with."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ed asked.

"I'll show you. Tuesday-I'll pick you up at your place."

Ed colored and shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Got an appointment."

"Dr. Yao?"

Ed nodded.

"Hmff..." There was no more to say.

* * *

"How could you act so childish?" Al shrieked louder in frustration. His brother dind't partiuarly seem to care how angry he was. "You scared the shit out of me, disappearing like that!"

"Hey," Ed said, tuning into the 'conversation,' "How did you guys know where we were going?"

"Breda said Havoc likes to come by the colonel's office and pester him or play pranks on him when he goes out to lunch."

Ed smiled laughingly. "I wondered why he'd want to visit the colonel on a nice day like this."

Al moaned and put a hand to his forehead. "Just think what might have happened if I hadn't been there!"

Ed at least had the decency to look ashamed for a few seconds.

"If you ever do that again, I'll lock you in your room for a week."

Ed gasped, as the threat was a truly terrible one as far as he was concerned.

"That's right," Al told him. "So promise me you won't run off on me again."

"It was just a one time thing, just for fun, Al. I won't do it again."

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**Thanks for reading!! Any requests for the next chapter? I'm not quite sure what it's going to be next...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Remember me? No? Ah, well, that's to be expected. Sorry for the wait. **

**--**

"Alphonse, a word with you?" Dr.Yao beckoned him over near the door to the room Ed had just been examined in.

"Yes," Al hopped up from a chair in the lobby and followed the doctor. Butterflies warmed up in his stomach. If the doctor was pulling himaside to speak with him, then he must have found out something about Ed's paralysis, right?

"Did- have you found...?"

"Alphonse, I'm sorry, but we've tried everything. His nerves aren't just damaged, they're destroyed. I'd like to keep seeing him, maybe once a month to make sure the rest of his body is fine, but weekly appointments are no longer needed."

Al swallowed the aching lump in his throat, lowering his head for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Alphonse. But we're not going to find anything."

"Thank you...for trying, I guess. But what about alchemy?"

"We tried. _Rendanshu_ has been used to cure some kinds of paralysis in the past, but it's not working on him."

"_Rendanshu_ isn't the same as alchemy," Al retorted angrily.

"It's based on healing. It was meant to be practiced on humans. Your 'alchemy' is not."

"My brother and I accepted long ago that human transmutation is dangerous, but compared to some of the other things we've done, fixing up some nerve cells shouldn't be a big deal at all."

"I already advised you not to try to heal him yourself. Your emotions will-"

"Yes! I _care_ about him! That's why I want to do _everything_ possible to restore his mobility! I don't think he can live like this for much longer. He hates being dependent on others-"

"He's in denial, nothing more. He could be independent if he wanted to."

"You mean a wheelchair," Al sighed. He'd heard this speech a thousand times, and while he often wished that Ed would give in and get one, convincing him that Ed needed one wasn't gonig to get the doctor, or anyone, anywhere.

"Alphonse, you have to accept that your brother cannot be returned to full mobility. It's up to you to make him see that he needs to accept it too and move on with his life. Now," Yao said, turning his gaze to his clipboard, "make an appointment for next month and I'll see you then. In the meantime, you'll just have to keep working on him."

Al opened his mouth to say that Ed needed to hear the doctor's diagnosis for himself, but Yao cut him off.

"Oh! Has he been spending anymore time with Lieutenant Havoc?"

Al glowered at the doctor, not wanting to tell him that Ed had been with Jean and enjoyed himself. Dr. Yao raised an eyebrow, then began to walk away. As Al put his hand over the doorknob to Ed's room, Dr. Yao added, "Get a nurse to help you. We had to sedate him after giving him the news."

Al's eyes widened. He lunged into Ed's room and sure enough, Ed was out cold on the metal tabletop.

After two nurses used a gurney to get Ed into the Elrics' car, Al drove him, almost killing himself and Ed in the process by taking a high-speed left turn on a red light. He was angry enough with Dr. Yao that he barely noticed the screeching brakes and honking horns.

--

"He just completely disregarded the idea of using Western alchemy! And he told Ed, and then sedated him when he got upset like it was some kind of irrational reaction!" Al ranted into the phone.

"That's really weird. He and Havoc seem to get along fine."

"Jean's completely different from my brother," Al groaned, despairing over how much easier it was for _anyone_ to get along with Jean.  
"Yeah..."

"And then he kept trying to make it _my_ problem that Ed get a wheelchair! He knows I've already tried to convince him, but he just doesn't want to try anymore, so he tries to make it _my_ problem!"

"Well... What are you going to do?"

Al groaned so loudly that Breda cut in with, "If it's that bad, why don't we go to the coffeeshop and have some donuts and coffee?"

"I can't leave Ed alone. He's more upset than I am, since he told Dr. Yao not to sedate him and Dr. Yao ordered one of the nurses to hold him down while he poked him."

"Sounds like Ed could use some-..._hot chocolate_ and a donut, too," Breda said, avoiding suggesting they give Ed coffee.

"You _don't _want to come sit with us in a public place while we're both upset. If it's just one of us, that's fine, but..." Al said, only half-joking. The two brothers had an unspoken system of keeping each other in check. Rarely were they both upset at the same time, and then it was generally an unspoken rule that they both stayed hom until the worst of the storm had passed.

"I'll bring Jean. The two of us are happy since I don't live in his dorm anymore, so we'll be a ble to handle you," Breda teased.

"Well...we're not really doing each other any good here..."

"Just say yes. You need a Boston Creme."

--

"Get anything you want, I'll pay," Jean said from across the little table.

"Wha do you think this is? A date?" Ed snarled. A few meters away, Al glanced in Ed's direction.

"Don't worry, they'll be fine," Breda told him, "just worry about yourself for once."

Al shook his head for a moment in hopelessness.

"Alchemy is the only thing that might fix him. But Ed's had... I don't know how to put this... It's not exactly that I think his luck is running out, it's just that I thikn that every time he gets involved with human transmutation, the cances of something horrible happeneing go up. I don't really know how to perform the transmutation and even if I found out... I think that's it for him. If he ever ends up back at the Gate, I think that _thing_ would do something horrible to him just because..."

Breda let Al finish his little tangent, completely lost but sort of understanding Al's worry.

"I don't want to be the one to land him in another bad position," Al said softly.

"You... You really don't have to. It's possible for him to live like this. I know it seems unbearable, but it can be done."

"He won't accept it," Al moaned loudly.

"If he did...?"

"Yes." Al didn't say the whole sentence, deeming it unnecessary. The waiter came, setting down two cups of rich, hot coffee and two donuts.

--

"You know, I'm glad you talked me out of paying for you."

"One, I wasn't aware I had, and two, you're cheap. Donuts are one of the most inexpensive foods you can get in this city."

"Tell me you're joking," Jean sighed, taking a bite of his glazed donut. Ed surveyed his box of boston creme, chocolate-frosted, chocolate-glazed, and plain-glazed donuts, and delicately selected a chocolate-glazed one.

"Only a little," Ed said.

"They're a comfort food, aren't they?"

Ed looked up. "A comfort food? ...They're DONUTS, duhh."

Jean didn't laugh. Breda had told him all about his conversation with Al, and he suspected that Ed was still upset. Well, wait, _duhh_. Jean mentally smakced himself on the forehead. Of course Ed was upset, what was he thinking? But Ed wasn't acting upset as usual.

"Snafu..." J ean muttered.

"What did you say?" Ed asked suspiciously.

"Snafu."

Ed racked his brain. He'd heard the military men use it before... Jean laughed at the look on Ed's face.

"Situation normal, all fucked up."

"Oh yeah," Ed grinned. Then, remembering the context in which Jean had used it, frowned.

"Are you talking about my love for donuts? 'Cause if you are-"

"Not exactly."

"What, then?"

"I heard about your appointment today."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Don't start feeling sorry for me," he sighed.

"Who said I was? I'm in the same boat you are," Jean snapped.

"Well then you're fucked up, too."

This time Jean laughed and Ed smiled, finishing off his donut. Although the two blonds each thought that the thought never occurred to the other, they were both discreetly thinking that Jean had not recently been held down and sedated against his will. Jean could not remember this ever happening to him, while Ed was wondering why it had happened so many times to him; four to date. They each sat there in silence for a few minutes, thinking their not-so seperate thoughts.

Al and Breda were doing the same, their silence being more complete since their food was long gone.

"I guess Ed and I should get going," Al said finally.

"I don't think you should go home and sit around thinking about all this, Al. You deserve a break."

Al smiled sadly at Breda.

"Reall. Let's do something fun. Movies, zoo, park, what?"

"Hmm..." Al glanced at Ed, and Breda spoke up again.

"We could drop those two off somewhere."

Al started to shake his head, but Breda grabbed his arm and said, "I know just the babysitter!" very enthusiastically.

--

"Are you sure Sheska can handle them?" Al whispered on the doorstep.

"Sure! She loves company."

"_That_ is completely irreleva-"

"I can do it! Don't worry, I'll put them to work in the kitchen! You two go have fun."

Breda dragged a nervous Alphonse out to the car. The two of them were headed to the theater, leaving a sugar-hyped-up Ed and an amused Havoc with a frazzled and tired Sheska who had just gotten home from work.

"Alright, who wants to chop up chicken?"

"I'll do it!" Ed volunteered a little too enthusiastically.

"OK, you have to make sure you trim off all the-"

"I know how," Ed cut her off, taking the knife from her hands.

"Lieutenant, would you please boil a big pot of water? In the cabinet, there- yes, and then put four bullion cubes in it."

Jean wheeled over to the cabinet to retrieve the large pot while Ed sat at the table happily killing the chicken with exaggerated, one-handed chopping motions. Sheska set another board down across from Ed and began slicing onions. Ed's eyes began to water and sting badly and Sheska suddenly said, "That's good enough, Edward! Want to peel some potatoes?"

"Ow, eyes-eyes-eyes," Ed said in a normal, but very accelerated voice, so that the words sounded like one long sound. Pushing up from the table, he frantically hopped to the sink, almost tumbling, but grabbing a hold of the countertop and pulling himself to where he could lean his stomach against the sink and splash water on his face and in his eyes.

"Just calm down, it'll pass," Sheska fussed.

"What, can't even take a little onion juice?" Havoc sneered.

Ed ignored him, s till splashing water everywhere, including the countertop, floor and the front of himself. He turned off the faucet and glared at Havoc just in time to see the man struggling to drop a bullion cube into the pot on top of the stove.

"Can't even reach?" Ed asked snidely. Jean turned around, rolled his eyes, and tossed the cube into the a ir. It then dropped into the pot, splashing not-yet-boiling water onto the stovetop, and a few drops on himself. Ed laughed and Jean swiveled his head to glare at him.

"Do you think you could try _not_ to be completely obnoxious about something for once?"

"Well, I..." Ed's smile faded, it having dawned on him that not only was Jean serious, he was right.

"Yeah." Jean turned to Sheska. "Would you give me a hand, Sweetie?"

Ed snorted quietly at the name Jean used for her.

"Oh, um." Sheska blushed and hurried over to take the bullion cubes from Jean and put them in the pot. Jean then wheeled himself to the table to take the liberty of cutting up the rest of the chicken.

Sheska tried to give Ed a job as the dishwasher, but wtih only one hand, he became extremely frustrated with the task and gave up after a few minutes. Jean and Sheska were chatting comfortably about the weather and silverware, so Ed exiled himself to her living room, where he knocked close to twenty books off the couch in order to make room for himself.

Jean watched the blond boy go, his stare drawing Sheska's attention. She was concerned, Jean could tell, but he advised her to let Ed be.

"Let him sulk, he'll just bite your head off," he murmured.

"Why is he so... I mean, I know his arm and leg are..."

"He's just having a hard time accepting it. When he does, maybe he'll be a little more mature," Jean grumbled.

--

"That movie sucked," Breda said bluntly.

"Well, it was alright," Al said.

"You weren't paying attention because you're so worried about Ed."

"And Sheska!" Al laughed. Breda brushed it off, continuing his first statement.

"You need to unwind. Apparently a bad movie on the big screen wasn't enough to take your mind off Ed."

"Look..." Al put his hand over his forehead, shadowing his eyes. "I won't be able to rest unless I know I've done everything I can do." There was a moment of silence before Heymans sighed loudly and shook his head.

"Alchemy... Alphonse, I can't let you take a risk like that. Ed will be fine-"

"He hates being dependant! He lashes out at me because he doesn't want to have to rely on me and it makes him feel guilty and it's just one more thing tha neither of us needs!"

"Alchemy is not going to fix that, Al! Stop babying him, don't let him depend on you! He'll stand up and figure things out on his own! Do you think if Mustang and I had done every little thing for Jean he would be as independant as he is now? No, when we couldn't stop what we were doing to come help him, he had to figure out how to do it himself. You're around Ed too much, you're too available!"

Al was sobbing, but sitting up straight, making no effort to conceal his grief.

"I can't hurt him. I can't do it."

Breda shook his head and pulled up in front of Sheska's old house.

"Calm down, I don't want Ed to murder me for upsetting you."

"Breda..."

"Do either of you have a job?"

Al shook his head no.

"How are you buying groceries?" Breda frowned, turning closer to Alphonse. Al turned away. "Just fine _something,_ then- a part-time job or something. It won't hurt either of you."

"Damn," Al suddenly swung his head up, tilting his chin up to the roof of the car, "this shouldn't be a hard decision," he said plainly, "I really don't want to try another transmutation. And we can't keep living like this forever. But if he starts blaming me for leaving him alone, or anything like that, he'll get ruthless and we won't be able to live together anymore."

"Ed could never stay away from you for long, Alphonse. Even if he does get angry and frustrated, at least he'll be working toward something, even if he doens't realize it. You guys spend too much time together anyway. You've both got to learn to turn to other people sometimes."

"You and Jean..." Al said softly, his lips pulling up into a gentle smile.

"If you want."

Al sucked up a deep breath and wiped his face on the cuff off his sleeve.

"Let's go rescue Sheska," he laughed wearily.

--

**Typing it up, it seems kind of like a filler chapter. But at least it's something! I have a terrible case of writer's block. It's worse on some of my other stories, but still pretty bad on this one. That's my excuse, take it or leave it. Thanks for reading, either way! Reviews are loved. **

**P.S. I'm posting this un-spellchecked (GASP, I know) because I think I did a pretty good job of typing it up, but please point out any typos you catch. Thanks **


	8. Chapter 8

**See nice a long!! A nice long chapter! See? See? ...you don't get it, do you? **

**REVIEW! REVIEW DAMMIT! XD I WANT REVIEWS! **

**"Ehehehe..." blush **

--

"Al, did you go to a chick flick?" Ed asked suspiciously as Al helped him hop through the front door.

"Wh-? No." Al was straining to hold Ed up and find his keys at the same time. Catching onto them with one finger as he rooted around in his jeans pocket, he pulled them out and scooted sideways, pulling Ed with him, so that he could reach the lock on the door and open it without hitting himself or Ed. He swung the door open and Ed launched away from him and fell flat on the floor.

"Brother! Stop doing that!"

Ed rolled around like a dying fish until he could clap his hands together and alchemically lower his sling from the ceiling. Al rolled his eyes and locked the door before shedding his coat.

"You've been crying." Ed suddenly dropped down directly in front of Al.

"You'll never be able to use your limbs again," Al said. He wasn't really lying, but the statement misled Ed enough to make Al sure that the real reason for his grief was protected. He didn't want to tell Ed he was crying because he didn't believe his big brother could learn to be independent and happy without the use of two of his limbs.

"Al, don't worry about it. Worse things have happened."

Al's jaw dropped. That was the _last_ thing he'd expected Ed to say.

"Well, they _have_," Ed said defensively in reply to Al's shocked face.

"Ed... I just never thought you'd say that. It's been so hard on you-"

"Al! Jeez, it's not _that___bad...I can handle it...I mean, you're always here."

"Edward, I need to get a job." Al closed his eyes, silently praying for Ed's forgiveness.

"Al, we talked about this," Ed said scoldingly.

"Yeah, we did, but you...you have to be independent, Ed."

"Al, what are you saying? I'm not a helpless infant!" Ed was immediately furious.

"So you should be fine without me!"

"Why do you want to get away from me?"

"That's not it, Ed! We need money- _really_ need it and-"

"I'll take care of it, Al! I'm your older brother-"

"You can't work, you can't do anything-"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE," Ed screeched.

"Ed!!"

"It's not true, it's not true, it's not _true,_ it's NOT!"

"Ed, calm down, I-"

"Don't talk to me! DON'T!"

"EDWARD ELRIC, listen to me!"

"SHUT UP!"

A knock on the front door prevented Al from screaming back at Ed. He walked over and yanked the door open with tremendous force.

"I heard yelling...is everything alright?" their next-door neighbor asked shyly. He was gently wringing his hands and Ed yelled, "Just leave us alone!" at the nervous man.

"Don't mind Ed, he's being incredibly thick right now. We're fine."

"Oh, ah, good." Nelson turned to leave, and as Al shut the door, the man said, "Just don't prevent anyone else from sleeping!" in a sort of friendly way. Al slammed the door shut so hard that Ed's sling swayed. Al turned around, and Ed transmuted his sling, flying to his bedroom. He locked the door and wouldn't respond. Al was too furious to sleep. He was too livid to do _anything_. Finally, he stormed out of the house. He walked all the way to the park where Jean had shot at Edward, and then didn't know what to do with himself.

He walked right by a bench without noticing the person sitting on it until the man said, 'Hello."

Al jumped. "Hey."

"Why are you out, walking so fast, at night?"

"Uh, I'm angry..."

"Ah."

"Who are you?"

"No one you know, if that's what you mean. I don't know you, either."

"Why are you out here?"

"I'm homeless. I've been kicked out."

"...Why?" Al sat down on the end of the bench.

"Because I'm gay."

"Uh, oh!" Al said awkwardly.

"My father disowned me because I'm gay."

"Well, um, I'm sorry."

They sat in silence until the mysterious man stood up. "Now I'm going to walk. Not as fast as you, because I'm not angry, but slow, because I'm depressed."

"OK..." Al watched him go, reveling in the very surreal night he was having. A fight with his brother and a bizarre conversation with an unfortunate stranger. The surreal feeling replaced the angry one, and by the time Al had walked home, he was able to go to bed and sleep.

--

"Ed, there's food on the table. I'm leaving, so you can come out and eat it," Al yelled at Ed's door the next morning. He was going job-hunting.

Al hadn't been expecting to find a high-paying job in a nice place without a difficult search, but it seemed like no one even wanted to hire him for the crappy jobs... He'd gone into four restaurants with "Hiring" posted in their windows, but not one of the managers had seemed impressed with him. He'd blown his chance at being a dishwasher when he'd been taken in back and given a chance, only ti hip and pull back from the extremely hot water in the sink. He had gingerly maneuvered some really gross pots out of the water and scrubbed them, but he was told not to come back to see if he'd be hired.

Inwardly, Al groaned when he saw a huge, bright-colored poster with "Now Hiring" written on it hanging outside a dilapidated little shack of a restaurant. He didn't want to go in, but he had made a resolution that he would take every opportunity he saw, and he wanted to come home with a job _today_ before Edward's silent fury and rejection wore him down and he gave up the hunt.

He went inside, surprised by how cool it was. And dark, and not particularly neat or tidy, but oh well. There were no customers that Al could see, although the cashier seemed very busy doing something at her little counter. There was a display with a glass window for pastries next to the counter, and all it contained was a single cookie and some bits of paper.

"Hello? What can I do for you?" asked the dark-haired little cashier.

"Uh...I'm looking for a job," Al admitted after a moment.

"Oh, really?" she seemed reservedly skeptical. Al walked up to the counter, finding her to be several inches shorter than he was.

"Can you cook?"

Al was caught off-guard. "Well, at home, yeah."

"We don't have a problem with home-style cookin' around here," she smirked.

"Well..." Al wasn't sure he was exactly qualified.

"It'll be a cook, or nothin' else. There's no other jobs in a place with no cook."

"Why don't you have a cook?"

"He was a kid. Family problems came up and he quit. Not much older 'n you."

"How long ago?"

"It's been 'bout two weeks," she nodded to herself, "and we tried to handle it ourselves, but a hair got in someone's sandwich and he made a big old fuss 'bout it and made us promise we'd hire a real cook. He's kind of a friend of the family," she added.

"I'm not really a real cook," Al told her.

"Come try the kitchen. We don't got a lot of hope right now." She led Al behind the counter to a greasy-smelling kitchen. It wasn't too cluttered, but everything was covered in a fine layer of cold grease and it made Al uncomfortable.

"Here's one of our old menus," she said, picking one up off a counter. It was cold and greasy too. Hamburgers, hotdogs, fish, ramen, french fries... not exactly Al's usual dishes.

"Whaddaya think? Pretty basic fare."

"I think I'm not qualified and I've never done it before and I'd screw up. I- just can't-ah..."

Hands on hips, she glared darkly up at him.

"I'd like to help out, but-uh..."

She raised one eyebrow.

"Look, I've never worked before- I mean, I've never had a job before!"

"Then you won't complain about the wages."

"Uh, my brother's an invalid," he said quietly, feeling as if by saying the word, he was betraying Ed somehow, "and we have medical bills, a car, and a house to pay for."

She sighed, frustrated, and walked back to the register.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just can't-"

"Save it. If you can't, you can't. You don't have to answer to me."

Al couldn't come up with anything more to say and walked out the door, feeling a tightness in his stomach he was not at all comfortable with.

--

This point in time found Ed groaning on the floor.

"Aww...oww..." Ed tried to lift his head, then put it back down. He'd fallen from his sling, his right arm draped across him, almost _pinning_ him to the floor. Lonely, but angry, he'd had absolutely nothing to do _all. day. long._ He'd been zooming around the house, burning off his excess energy through alchemy. Then he'd started taking abrupt stops, seeing how far he could make his sling swing, and inevitably launched himself out of the sling and onto the floor by the front door. He groaned again, then shut his eyes and relaxed, resting where he was.

--

Al hadn't found a single other place that wanted to hire him. Now he was just stalling outside HQ, waiting for Breda to get off work so he could talk to him.

When Jean and Heymans emerged from the building, stretching, sighing and yawning, they greeted Al happily, glad for an end to the monotony of the day. Al told them about his entire day over iced coffee. Breda and Al discussed pros and cons of taking the job as a short-order cook. Breda was even more dubious of the job than Al, but there was something in the Elric's gut telling him not to just drop the idea. As soon as he could politely get a word in, Jean inquired as to how Ed was doing. Al fell silent.

"I don't...know. I know I have to go check on him, but I just don't want to deal with his attitude."

"We'll all go," Breda said kindly, Jean nodding to back him up.

--

"Oh, nooo," Al moaned as he walked through the door. "Oh God, Ed, please wake up."

"Hey, Al. You're back."

"Ed! What happened!"

Ed mumbled an angry, embarrassed answer.

"Something stupid, no doubt," said Jean, peering over Al's shoulder.

"What the hell's he doing here?" Ed growled.

"Alphonse didn't want to have to deal with you alone and we agreed that no one should have to suffer that fate," Jean bit back.

"Shut up, Asshole."

"Edward!" Al scolded.

"Aw, let him cuss. It's all he _can_ do."

"Jean! What the hell-" Breda said loudly. Ed flopped weakly, bringing his left hand to his right, and Al seized his wrists.

"Edward, what happened?" he asked firmly.

"No big deal, I just-..." Ed searched for words, "_ended up_ on the floor."

Al shook his head. "That's not a good enough answer, Brother."

"Good enough for what?" Ed snapped back, "Good enough for the brother who disappeared before I was even awake this morning? D'ja find a job, by the way?" His tone was bitter enough that Al knew he was going to regret not taking the job at that little shack just because he couldn't truthfully say yes to Ed's last question.

"Ed, I need to know what you did so that I know whether or not you need attention." 'Attention,' was Al's word for everything ranging from emergency room visits to chiropractic appointments to simple shoulder rubs and hot chocolate.

"I don't."

"You always say that whether it's true or not! How can you expect me to believe you when you say that now?"

"I guess I thought my little brother would have faith in me," Ed replied callously. Al set his teeth and Jean opened his mouth:

"No one who knows you well enough would trust you farther than they could throw Colonel Armstrong."

Breda rolled his eyes, wishing Jean had enough sense to stay out of this. When Ed didn't reply, Breda looked at the little blond in surprise, only to be shocked further by the wetness around Ed's eyes. They were smoldering and angry. He yanked his right hand out of Al's grip and transmuted his sling down next to himself. Al was caught off-guard, being, not surprised, but frustrated and dismayed at the sign of Ed's inner misery. Every once in a while, his brother's shield was pulled down and he would start to cry, usually sucking it up and remaining in denial until he mastered himself. It always made Al feel guilty to see Ed's walls breached.

Ed swung away into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"If he's going to act that way then he doesn't deserve any help anyway."

"Jean-!"

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" Al screamed. Jean bristled and went silent.

"Alphonse, I'm so-"

"Don't apologize for him! He's obviously not sorry about constantly _provoking_ Ed!"

"Don't blame me for his attitude!" Jean snapped.

"I'm not!"

"Then why are you yelling?"

"You're no better than he is! I have no idea why the doctor thought you would be good for each other, when all you two do is antagonize!"

"I don't take my feelings out on-"

"You don't _help_ anything by taunting him! You're just making it worse for everyone!"

"You baby him!"

The bathroom door slammed open. "Stay out of this, Havoc! Leave my brother alone!"

"**I**! HAVE!_ HAD_ IT! WITH YOU!" Al completely blew his top. When Breda tried to block his escape out the door, Al clapped his hands together threateningly, greenish-blue light illuminating his face as he channeled alchemic energy.

"Look what you did!" Ed yelled at Jean, chest heaving.

"This is hardly _my _fault, you selfish son of a bitch."

Breda smacked Jean upside the head and glared at Ed, warning him of a similar chastisement if he retaliated. Ed tightened his jaw, chest still heaving, eyes still smoldering with repressed tears.

"Gonna cry about it?" Jean said very lowly and softly. Ed threw himself from his sling, knocking Jean and his wheelchair back onto the floor. Breda tried to pull him off, but he was kicking and scratching and punching with everything his defective body had to work with. Jean held him off with one arm, then drew back his fist and sent Ed rolling across the floor. Ed was holding his jaw and cheek in his hand, trembling slightly. Jean tensed, waiting for Ed to come flying and biting back at him, and when he didn't, began to relax and look on anxiously. Breda pulled Jean's wheelchair upright, accidentally dumping the blond man out of it in the process. Jean didn't seem too rattled. He was watching Ed shake and curl up into a ball on the floor, still holding and covering his face.

"Ed? Are you OK?" Jean elbow-crawled over to Ed. There were tears squeezing out from the corner of the smaller blond's eyes as he bit his lip to fight them. Jean put one arm over the golden-eyed man. Ed choked.

"Shh," Jean said, tightening his arm around Ed. "Shh."

Breda watched, surprised at the sudden change in Jean's treatment of Ed. Ed still fought his choking sobs, but huddled under Jean's arm where he could hide his face.

"You know," Jean said after a moment,"this doesn't mean I think you didn't deserve that."

Ed broke out laughing, "I guess I _migh_ta needed that... Doesn't mean I wanted it though." Ed poked Jean really hard with his left pointer finger.

"The two of you are just ridiculous," Breda shook his head.

--

**Any suggestions on what should happen in the next chapter? I have a goal in mind, but I'll have to get to it a rather round-a-bout way, so...**

**R&R please! Thanks! **


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